Little Miss Confused

Welcome to my pitty party

9:00 AM, February 18, 2008 .. 14 comments .. Link

Maybe its the weather. I am sick and tired of looking out side to see various shades of white and gray and dirt covered snow.
Maybe it's the whole job hunting thing...I am sick and tired of looking at jobs that I have no qualifications for, or finding jobs that I would be perfect for, only to be told the position is already filled.
Maybe its the whole lack of money, plenty of bills thing.

I don't know, but it is getting harder and harder every day to keep smiling.

I go to the store and put on a happy face. I smile and talk to the customers as if I don't have a worry in the world. Then I go home and cry.

Things feel like they are just in limbo. I wish I could say more about the other project I am working on. Hopefully it will be soon. We agreed on one event that will make it safe for me to let you all know what it is.....that might be part of the blues I am feeling too. I hate waiting.

I hate not knowing what the future has in store. I don't adapt to change well.
I'm feeling excited about the project I am working on...and fear at the same time. I wish I could say what it was, it would be so much easier to write about what I am feeling...hell I wish I knew what I was feeling. One minute I am happy about it, the next I am scared to death.

I keep having the same dream night after night. My husband and I are driving past our house, except it isn't our house any more. As we drive by I am asking my husband if he thinks the new owners are taking care of the pet cemetery. I point out how over grown with weeds the garden has become and worry that they are not feeding the gold fish in the pond.

That is all there is to the dream. I wake up feeling sad and like I have lost something.

I have been trying to make an appointment to get a yearly exam with my doctor. I'm about 5 years over due for it. I call the phone number listed in the phone book and listen to the annoying...press 1 if you are calling for test results, press 2 if you are standing on your head....after a few more options it gives me a website to go to for scheduling appointments.

I go to the website and after sifting thru the options........
Think you might be pregnant...........nope!
Pregnant and need to schedule routine check up....nope!
infertility questions...nope!
Starting to get pissed at the directory.....YEP!

Finally, I find a link that reads, Schedule routine exams.....BINGO!
I click it and it takes me back to the home page giving me directions to the location and a phone number to call.....same damn number I called that told me to go on line and register for an appointment!

Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out.

OK, I have calmed down and I am done with my pity party. Now I am going to go call the doctors office and ruin somebody else's day!

Job hunting sucks!

2:37 PM, February 17, 2008 .. 13 comments .. Link

I thought I found the perfect job. It's only about 10 miles from my house. The ad read:

PT help wanted. Seeking motivated, responsible, customer service oriented person to work in my dog daycare/boarding facility.

There was a listing for the web site so I went to check it out. There staring back at me was what I had...what I wanted and still want. I went to the page that had photos of the dogs having fun......I saw some of my old customers and it was like someone ripped the scab off of a wound.

People ask me if it bothers me that I had to close down. I lie and tell them "no'. But today I realize it hurts like hell...and there is nothing I can do about it.

Happy valantines day!

9:06 AM, February 14, 2008 .. 10 comments .. Link

This is one holiday I don't celebrate. After 22 years, I think I finally got it thru to hubby that I don't need the flowers or the candy or any of the other over priced stuff in order to know that he loves me. He shows me he loves me 365 days out of the year. I don't need a special day for him to prove it.

Yesterday I worked the express lane at the store. Most times when I am on that lane, by the end of the shift, I want to start screaming or injuring the customers. I hate everyone that comes thru with the old "I know I have more then 8 items, but the other lines are long" as they pile half a cart full on the belt while I get mad, angry glares from the person behind them holding their gallon of milk and loaf of bread!

Our express lane is right next to the cooler with the fresh flowers. There had to be hundreds of them! The whole area smelled like roses. Only problem is that in those quantities my allergies kick into high gear. So I spent the day, sniffling and sneezing with watery eyes! People thought I was either sick with the flu or had a cold. More then one old biddy told me I should stay home if I were sick and requested that I not touch the groceries.....my reply...."I'm not sick, I'm allergic to the flowers, your more then welcome to go wait in the other cashiers line!". Which was usually met with a snort and the pile of groceries dumped on the belt. Of course there was waaaaayyyy more then 8 items.

By the end of the day I had a splitting head ache and felt like I had the flu! After getting home and away from all those flowers I felt much better.

I found it funny how much people would spend on their valentine. A nice card, a box of candy and some flowers......easily had them dropping $50.00! The card might get kept, the candy would be eaten and the flowers would die. seemed like a waste of money to me.

One young man came thru and was looking at the roses for a very long time. He kept looking over at me with that look that said "I have a question". finally after I had no one in my line, he sheepishly came over and asked if I knew what the colors of the roses meant. I told him I only knew yellow was for friendship and red was for love. Other then that I had no clue.

He told me this is the second year with his girlfriend and he didn't want a repeat of last year. I asked him what happened and he said he gave his girl a dozen roses last year and she threw them in his face and started crying! I asked him "Why on earth would she do that!" he said the roses were a peachy yellow color with red tips on the petals. he thought they were pretty and unusual. apparently his girlfriend had learned some where that roses of that color meant....Thanks for the great time, I just want to be your hook up!

I felt so bad for this guy! And pissed at his girl! I told him "I'm surprised you stuck with her! Any girl should know guys have no clue what the flower colors mean...that's some silly thing someone made up!" Flowers are flowers and should be taken as such!"

He laughed and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend! I told him I was flattered, but already married, not to mention I was old enough to be his mother! With help from another customer who knew about the colors, we set him up with 11 white roses, representing peace and one unopened red rose to represent blossoming love. He also got a box of chocolates to be safe and a really sweet card. The customer suggested writing the meaning of the roses in the card and giving her that first....just to make sure the meaning hasn't changed in the past years.....and we both told him to snip off the thorns....just in case she throws them at him again!

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Little Miss Confused

Welcome to my pitty party

Job hunting sucks!

Happy valantines day!

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